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Once you accept your shape, then you can work within it.Too many people who are concerned about their weight try to dress to conceal it, usually wearing clothes that are too big and loose.Some people have shorter torsos and trunks, which will affect their visual proportions; a longer torso makes you look skinnier even if you’re overweight while a shorter one makes you appear wider.Even if you lose weight, it’s no guarantee that you’re going to look like the cover of Men’s Health; a visible six-pack is as much the result of genetics, dehydration and favorable lighting as it is eating nothing but broiled chicken breasts and steamed broccoli and five hundred crunches a day.Being fat is treated as a referendum on your worth as a person – people see it as an implication that you’re only fat because you simply don’t want to change badly enough. The societal disdain for heavyset people is so ingrained that even people who are fat feel ashamed about who they are and that they have to apologize for some personal flaw that leaves them with the mark of Canes when the truth about obesity is as much about external factors as it is about food consumption.After all, if they’d just apply themselves, fat people could lose weight easily! Over the years, we have been discovering that there are innumerable other factors that affect body fat accumulation and weight gain.Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.

You want simple clothes that define your shape rather than just hang.Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.But being large and in charge doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a life of being forever alone; in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you’d ever believe possible. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he’s also happily married.Some people simply have long, skinny frames and will be lean and lanky no matter how much they try to bulk up.Others are shorter and squatter and will always appear heavier.

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The problem is that all this does is draw attention to the fact that you’re trying to hide things – and making you look you.

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